translated from the Italian by Carlotta Brentan
Bios
Marco Di Stefano is an Italian playwright and theater director. His plays have won multiple awards including the ETI Nuove Sensibilità award for Falene (Moths), and the Mario Fratti award in New York City for La Città che Sale (The City Rises), co-written with Chiara Boscaro. Marco’s plays have been published and produced in Europe, China and United States in association with prestigious theatrical institutions including Edinburgh’s Dance Base and the 6th Theatre Olympics in Beijing. Marco is the founder, with Chiara Boscaro, of the theater company La Confraternita del Chianti. He works extensively for the Rijeka’s Croatian National Theater. Recent highlights as a director include the “theatrical game” PLAY, created with Chiara Boscaro, which premiered at the Bellevue Theater in Amsterdam and Leviatano (Leviathan) by Riccardo Tabilio which premiered at the Piccolo Teatro in Milan. Since 2021, Marco has taught Theatre Direction at the Scuola del Teatro Musicale in Novara. http://www.laconfraternitadelchianti.eu
Carlotta Brentan is a New York-based bilingual theatre artist specialising in the development of brave, challenging new plays as a director, actor, producer and translator. Stage highlights: World Premieres of Frank J. Avella’s Lured, based on real events of anti-gay persecution in Russia (performed and co-directed, sold-out runs at Theater for The New City in NYC and OnStage! Festival in Rome), Avella’s Vatican Falls about the Catholic church sex abuse scandal (performed and co-directed, The Tank NYC), Paolo Bignami’s The Journey I Never Made (performed and translated from Italian, Cherry Lane Theatre NYC), Erik Ehn’s Clover (La MaMa Experimental Theater Club NYC), HIDE and SEEK by Tobia Rossi, translator and director in both NYC and London. Carlotta is also a film actor, prolific voiceover artist and, award-winning audiobook narrator of over 300 novels. http://www.carlottabrentan.com
Introductory Note, Focus Group
I started writing Focus Group after a personal experience as a participant in a real focus group. It was my first time and I decided to attend because—as a playwright, but also as a human being—I’m very attracted by new experiences. “What could go wrong?” I told myself, “perhaps I will get inspiration for a new play.” In that case, everything went wrong, but yes… I finally wrote a new play. During the play, the product under evaluation confronts the group members with perhaps the most basic existential question of every man or woman: the choice between life and death. A choice that is always pending. A choice that, in this age of chaos, could be a simple matter of marketing.
In this work I try to explore the relationship between companies and consumers, supply and demand, truth and falsehood, reality and fantasy. Between capitalism and life. Because for capitalism everything has a price, even life. And, sometimes, even death.
Focus Group premiered in 2021 at Teatro Due in Parma (Italy) for the contemporary playwriting project Mezz’ore d’Autore. In 2023 the French version of the play was published in France by PUM – Presses Universitaires du Midi. In 2024 the play premiered at Theatre of the NO in Athens (Greece), directed by Chara Lianou.
—Marco Di Stefano
Focus Group
Characters
Carlo, 35. Leader of the focus group.
Andrea, 30. Visibly drunk.
Marco, 28. Somewhat uncool.
Stefano, of undefinable age. A nerd.
Secretary, female. Very attractive.
Setting
A white room with a white table in the center, surrounded by a few chairs. On the table are some water bottles, plastic cups and snacks. A microphone pokes out through a hole in the middle of the table. A small coat rack sits by the entrance. There’s also a side table with a CD player on it.
1.
Carlo is alone. He looks around, takes off his jacket and hangs it on the coat rack. He puts a bag on top of the table. Looks around again. Takes a seat. He opens the bag, searching for something in it. The Secretary enters, carrying a few files.
Secretary: Good morning. You must be the new guy, right?
They shake hands.
Carlo: Yes. Carlo Marini. A pleasure.
Secretary: I brought you all the material for today.
Carlo: Thank you very much. Ms…
Secretary: Never mind.
Carlo: Excuse me?
Secretary: Never mind my name. It’s not important.
Carlo: Oh, right, of course. I’m sorry.
Secretary: No problem. Everyone does that.
Carlo: You know, it’s my first day…
Secretary: I know, it’s your first day. So we better get straight to work, right?
Carlo: Yes, right away.
Secretary: So, I’m not sure why you were hired, and honestly I don’t care. But I assume you’ve led a focus group before.
Carlo: Of course. Well, not exactly. I did in theory.
Secretary: And in practice?
Carlo: I mean I led a few practice groups in my class.
Secretary: With who?
Carlo: With my classmates.
Secretary: With your own classmates as guinea pigs.
Carlo: Exactly. And then I was a guinea pig for them.
Secretary: So, basically, this is your first time.
Carlo: Well. Yeah. Sort of.
Secretary: How did this guy get here?
Carlo: I was hired.
Secretary: It was a rhetorical question.
Carlo: Right. I’m sorry. I’m a bit nervous.
Secretary: You are?
Carlo: Yeah.
Secretary: Just relax. By the end of the night you’ll know for sure.
Carlo: Know what?
Secretary: If this job is for you. There’s no middle ground here. You’re either a savant or a failure.
Carlo: But in my class they said…
Secretary: Forget about your class! It’s pointless!
Carlo: What do you mean, pointless? I paid money to attend.
Secretary: I mean, it’s a formality, just to set you on the right path. But here is where we see what a man is really made of. Though in your case we might be set up for disappointment, I’m afraid…
Carlo: (offended) I had the higher score in my class.
Secretary: Exactly.
Carlo: I don’t get it.
Secretary: It’s not about the score. It’s about backbone, vigor, about having massive square testicles made of steel, you understand?
Carlo is silent.
Secretary: It’s a war in here.
Carlo: They said that, in the class.
Secretary: Again with the class? We need results here. Outstanding results in very limited time.
Carlo: That’s fine.
Secretary: We’ll see tonight if it’s ‘fine.’
Carlo: I’m sorry, who are you?
Secretary: This again?
Carlo: I mean, what’s your job here?
Secretary: I’m the secretary.
A pause.
Carlo: Whose secretary?
Secretary: The secretary.
Carlo: But whose?
Secretary: Oh Lord… I am your secretary, Mr. Marini!
Carlo: My secretary?
Secretary: Yes!
Carlo: And you’re talking to me like this?
Secretary: That’s right! For your own good!
Carlo: I… I want to speak to the Supervisor. Right now.
The Secretary bursts out laughing.
Secretary: Yeah, right… the Supervisor…
Carlo: It’s not funny.
Secretary: Look, you can meet the Supervisor once you’ve been here a month.
Carlo: What?
Secretary: If he feels up to it.
Carlo: That’s absurd.
Secretary: Welcome to the workplace!
Carlo: Listen, I was hired by you, and now…
Secretary: (Cutting him off) And now you’ll study the material for today’s group, otherwise by tonight you’ll be out of a job again.
Silence. Carlo doesn’t know what to say.
Secretary: How old are you?
Carlo: Thirty five.
Secretary: How many different jobs have you had?
Carlo: Six… seven…
Secretary: Including this one?
Carlo: Eight.
Secretary: Are you single?
Carlo: Yes, newly.
Secretary: No job security, constant fighting at home, I bet that taking that class was your last resort.
Carlo: Yes, but how do you know…
Secretary A few short-term gigs here and there, for one or two years at most while hoping to pursue some kind of dream, to build a different future…
Carlo: (Sorrowful) Yeah. You see, I always wanted to become…
Secretary: Oh, no. I don’t care. The last thing we need is the angst of a failed new hire. You didn’t make it. That’s all that matters. And if you don’t get to work right now, they’ll kick you out before this evening.
Carlo: Out of curiosity. Why did you hire me?
Secretary: I don’t know, I’m just the secretary. They were probably pressed for time. They had to find a replacement for your predecessor.
Carlo: He quit?
Secretary: Killed himself. Jumped out of that window two days ago.
Pause.
Carlo: I’ll get to work.
Secretary: Good. Here’s the material you need: the profiles of the attendees, the description of the product, etc. etc. In that drawer you’ll find everything you need to lead the group itself: discussion prompts and the actual product. All clear?
Carlo: Yes. I mean, no.
Secretary: Great.
Carlo: I need a minute.
Secretary: You need to use the restroom?
Carlo: No…
Secretary: A minute to do what?
Carlo: To review the material.
Secretary: You have two hours.
Carlo: But how can I…
Secretary: You open up the folder like a good boy and read the material I put together.
Carlo: It’s not enough time.
Secretary: If time’s what you want, you should go work for the government.
Carlo: You don’t understand.
Secretary: Say it again.
Carlo: What?
Secretary: That I don’t understand.
Carlo: Oh, no. I didn’t mean to offend you.
Secretary: Say it again.
Carlo: It’s a misunderstanding…
Secretary: Say it again.
Carlo: You… you don’t understand.
The Secretary slaps Carlo’s face.
Secretary: Good, now we can move on. Everything that happens in here is recorded. The audio by the microphone you see in the middle of the table. And the video by some cameras that you can’t see, but they’re there. I assure you. Everything is being recorded, so you don’t need to take notes about what the participants say. Sounds good?
Carlo: Well, it’s a good thing they didn’t record that slap just now.
Secretary: Of course they did.
Carlo: But we haven’t even started!
Secretary: You’re not listening to me. Once again. Everything, and I mean everything that happens in here is recorded. The audio by the microphone you see in the middle of the table. And the video by some cameras that you can’t see, but they’re there. Everything. Twenty-four hours a day. This room is under constant surveillance.
Carlo: I’m sorry but why?
Secretary: Because important data could be unearthed any time. The principle of causality is fundamental for market research.
Carlo: Sure but… don’t you think that’s a bit extreme?
Secretary: What I think doesn’t matter. I’m the secretary. If you have any issues you can take them up with the Supervisor. In a month. Assuming they keep you that long.
Carlo: No, no. It’s fine.
Secretary: I figured.
Carlo: Listen, I’m not trying to cause problems. It’s just that I was expecting a different kind of job. Where I’d get to interact with people.
Secretary: You’ll see plenty of people from here.
Carlo: Sure, but it all seems a bit… a bit…
Secretary: A bit what?
Carlo: Nothing. Forget it.
Secretary: Must not have been too interesting.
Carlo: Exactly. It wasn’t.
Secretary: Good. If you don’t have anything else to bore me with, I’ll take off.
Carlo: Will you be with me during the group?
Secretary: I’m not your mother.
Carlo: Sorry but what kind of secretary doesn’t keep track of the work?
Secretary: I’ll be watching all the focus groups on a monitor in my office. Should you need me, I will be here before you can even call me. Happy now?
Carlo: Yes.
Secretary: Any other questions?
Carlo: What do you think about global warming?
Secretary: Funny.
Carlo: Just a little joke to break the tension.
Secretary: Didn’t work.
Carlo: Alright, forget it. I’ll get straight to work.
Secretary: That’s the first sensible thing that came out of your mouth.
Carlo: I’ll take that as a compliment.
Secretary: You have low standards.
Carlo wants to respond, but no words come out.
Secretary: I almost forgot. The product file contains all the minimum objectives that have been identified according to the client’s needs. Today’s file is quite unusual. Our client is requesting some very specific takeaways. There’s one data point in particular that is… let’s say… unusual.
Carlo: What is it?
Secretary: You’ll see for yourself.
Carlo: Okay, fine.
Secretary: Don’t let me down. You’ve been given a very important task.
Carlo: I’m confident I can accomplish it.
Secretary: We’ll see. I’m off. You know where to find me. I suggest you study the material very carefully. It’s a big client.
Carlo: Don’t worry. And thank you for your valuable advice.
Secretary: Absolutely. Call me if you need me.
She goes to exit.
Carlo: Wait. May I have a coffee?
She smiles.
Secretary: Of course. What would you like?
Carlo: An americano macchiato with two sugars. Cane sugar if you have it, but normal sugar works too.
Secretary: American macchiato with two cane sugar. I’ll make it right now. You’ll love it, you’ll see. I make delicious coffee.
Carlo: Thank you.
Carlo gets to work. After a while, the Secretary re-enters with a coffee.
Secretary: Here you are.
Carlo: I’m sorry, I don’t understand. What is the product this company makes?
Blackout
2.
Same setting. Carlo is alone. Multiple coffee cups in front of him. He’s still studying the material. He’s nervous. Andrea walks in, swaying.
Andrea: Excuse me, is this where they give out the gas coupons?
Carlo: What?
Andrea: The gas coupons. They told me to come here. (He pulls out a card from his pocket) The street name… (Can’t read the address) The street name… Can you read it please…
Carlo reads the card.
Carlo: Yes, that’s here.
Andrea: Good.
Carlo: What?
Andrea: Where are they?
Carlo: Who?
Andrea: The gas coupons.
Carlo: I’m sorry but I don’t know anything about any gas coupons.
Andrea: This girl called me, told me if I came here and answered some questions then they would give me thirty Euros’ worth of gas coupons.
Carlo: I don’t know anything about that.
Andrea: Tell me where my fucking gas coupons are!
Carlo: I don’t know, I swear…
Andrea: Tell me!
The Secretary enters.
Secretary: Excuse me, what is going on here?
Andrea: Were you the one who called me?
Secretary: What are you talking about?
Andrea: Some girl called me and told me they would give me gas coupons if I came here to answer.
Secretary: You’re Mr…?
Andrea: Zucchi, Andrea.
Secretary: The focus group hasn’t started yet.
Andrea: What does that mean?
Secretary: First you answer the questions, and then you get the gas coupons.
Andrea: Oh. Couldn’t he just say so?
Secretary: He’s new here. Now, please leave.
Andrea: Ok… I’m going.. But let’s make this quick…
Andrea exits.
Carlo: Thank you.
Secretary: Is that how you plan to handle conflict?
Carlo: I wasn’t prepared…
Secretary: You have to be ready for anything. We have a profile of each attendee. Did you read them?
Carlo: Yes, but…
Secretary: Look at this. Andrea Zucchi. 30 years old. Unemployed. Alcoholic. His wife left him after their son died.
Carlo: I didn’t get that far yet.
Secretary: That’s a shame. He’s the most likely candidate.
Carlo: About that…
Secretary: Of course one of the others may turn out to be better suited, once you meet them in person.
Carlo: That’s not what I mean.
Secretary: What is it?
Carlo: I’d like to quit.
Secretary: It’s too late for that.
Carlo: I didn’t sign anything.
Secretary: Yes, but you must know it’s not that simple.
Carlo: I understand…
Secretary: And the money’s good.
Carlo: Sure, but it’s not for me.
Secretary: I don’t know. You might have a hidden talent.
Carlo: I doubt it.
Secretary: Surprise me.
Carlo: I don’t know if I want to.
Secretary: You must want to, or you wouldn’t be here.
Carlo: I expected the job to be different.
Secretary: Listen, let’s not waste any more time. We’re starting in a few minutes, so make your peace with it. We must come out of this with that one data point. One single thing. It’s fundamental. I gave you the material. The product is in the drawer. Enough now. I’ll see you when you’re done. And don’t forget. One hour, tops.
Carlo: I know.
Secretary: Good.
Carlo: I’ll try. But I don’t know if I can.
Secretary: Enough excuses. I’ll let them in.
Carlo: Yeah.
The Secretary exits. Carlo takes a deep breath. Andrea, Marco and Stefano enter.
Andrea: Why couldn’t I just wait in here?
Carlo: Have a seat, please.
Marco: Thanks.
Carlo: The water and snacks are for you.
Stefano: Oh, I’ll grab some then.
They sit at the table. During the rest of the play Marco and Stefano will take turns grabbing water and snacks. Stefano, especially, will keep stuffing his face. Andrea and Carlo don’t consume anything.
Carlo: Alright, my name is Carlo, and for the next hour I’ll be leading this focus group.
Andrea: An hour? That’s too long.
Carlo: Actually, it’s up to you three. We could wrap things up much sooner.
Stefano: Alright, what do you need us to do?
Carlo: Start by introducing yourselves. I want to know your name, age and profession. We can call each other by our first names.
Stefano: I’ll go. I’m Stefano. I’m 31. I’m a programmer.
Marco: Marco. 28. Nurse.
Carlo: Great.
Andrea: Andrea. 30. Unemployed. But I used to be married. And I used to have a job.
Carlo: Good, but that doesn’t matter now. Let’s move on. You were asked to come in as part of some market research on behalf of a company that will remain anonymous.
Marco: Why?
Carlo: That’s a good question, Marco.
Stefano: I was wondering the same thing.
Carlo: It’s about the launch of a new product. Something very innovative. But its marketing could be subject to…
A long pause. Carlo is visibly undecided about whether he should keep going or not. He looks toward the door. Then at the watch on his wrist.
Stefano: Go on. Now we’re curious.
Carlo: I’m sorry.
Stefano: You’re just doing this to make us more interested in the product aren’t you? To build anticipation via pre-planned dramatic pauses.
Carlo: Yes. That’s right.
Stefano: I knew it. You can’t get much past me.
Andrea: This sucks. I don’t get it.
Marco: Go on. What is it?
Carlo: As I was saying. The marketing for this product, although quite cutting edge and on par with the times, could face a few… legal challenges.
Marco: Why is that?
Carlo: Please, be patient. You’ll find out soon enough. First we need to go through a preliminary phase.
Marco: Which is?
Carlo: We need to gather some data about some shared concepts.
Stefano: Like the concept of heat and cold, good and evil?
Carlo: Exactly. Good.
Stefano: Thanks.
Carlo: For example, if I say the word ‘life,’ what comes to mind?
Andrea: Shit.
Carlo: Andrea, please. Let’s go in order, OK?
Andrea: My answer is still shit.
Carlo: And the others?
Marco: I don’t know. Light?
Carlo: There’s no right answer.
Stefano: I thought of a child playing.
Carlo: Excellent. And if I say ‘death’?
Andrea: Shit.
Carlo: Thank you for your input.
Stefano: Well, he’s not wrong.
Carlo: Tell me what you think. Not what Andrea thinks.
Stefano: Let’s just say the child has stopped playing.
Marco: So I guess I should say darkness.
Sefano: Right.
Carlo: No, not necessarily.
Marco: I thought about my grandfather.
Carlo: Is he dead?
Marco: No. But I thought of him. I detest him.
Carlo: So we can agree that – except for Andrea – we generally associate the concept of life with something positive and that of death with something negative.
Andrea: Fools.
Stefano: Yes, that’s right.
Marco: Makes sense.
Carlo: So now, let’s flip that upside down.
Carlo pulls out a photo from his file. He pauses for a moment. Then throws it on the table.
Carlo: There. Pass it around, please.
Marco: What the fuck is that?
Carlo: A person suffering from ALS. Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
Stefano: I know what that is. It’s when you’re trapped inside your body or something like that.
Carlo: Something like that.
Marco: So?
Andrea: So, it’s shit. He’s telling you that sometimes life is shit.
Carlo: Let’s just say that there can be different points of view.
Marco: Well that goes for everything.
Stefano: No, Carlo’s right. If we ask a patient with ALS to tell us what ‘life’ is, they’ll probably say that life sucks.
Carlo: Thanks, Stefano.
Carlo: No problem, Carlo.
Andrea: Uhh, you’re either deaf or you’re stupid. I’ve been saying that this whole time.
Carlo: Andrea, your point of view is fixed. It’s singular. We’re interested in shifts in perspective.
Andrea: Who’s we?
Carlo: We, the company that is commissioning this research. Also society at large.
Stefano: Yes, changing perspectives are interesting.
Marco: The possibilities are endless. We’re talking about nothing.
Carlo: You’re wrong. We’re talking about freedom of choice.
Marco: Oh please.
Carlo: Each one of us values life according to some subjective criteria.
Marco: Why thank you very much. I had no idea.
Carlo: That kind of attitude is destructive to the group.
Stefano: It’s true.
Andrea: Fucking ass-kisser. (laughs)
Stefano: How dare you, you… you drunk!
Andrea: Wow, big words! (laughs)
Marco: I’m going to leave.
Carlo: No, no, please. Sit down.
Andrea: Or you won’t get any gas coupons.
Marco: I don’t give a shit about the gas coupons.
Stefano: That’s right, leave, or we won’t get anything done. We’re a group.
Marco: Are you kidding? We met five minutes ago!
Carlo: Wait, hold on. Have a seat. I didn’t mean to be rude. If I was, I apologize. You know, it’s my first day here.
Marco: So what?
Carlo: So I really wanted to be proactive and ready, assertive, efficient. So I would look good. Seem prepared. I really do apologize.
Marco: This is a waste of my time.
Carlo: Have a seat, this will be quick you’ll see. Please.
They stare at each other. Marco sits down.
Marco: Alright. But I want to know what this is all about. Right now.
Carlo: Just a second. I just have to ask you one more question.
Marco: Another one?
Stefano: Come on, stop being a nuisance. He said just one more question.
Carlo: Thank you, Stefano.
Stefano: You’re welcome, Carlo.
Andrea: Jesus Christ, so gross. Listen, can I at least have a cigarette?
Carlo: No, you can’t smoke in here…
Stefano: Unbelievable.
Marco: It would annoy me.
Andrea: Ok, ok… listen, I’ll put one in my mouth but I won’t light it.
Marco: Good for you.
Stefano: Go on, Carlo.
Carlo: Yes, thank you. Excuse me, I’ll just have a sip of water.
He does. He wipes some sweat away. He looks at the door. He looks at his watch. He will repeat these actions often during the rest of the play.
Carlo: So, one question…
A pause. Carlo doesn’t know if he should continue.
Marco: Go on, keep going.
Stefano: Let him gather his thoughts, why don’t you?
Marco: Would you be quiet for once?
Carlo: Have you ever considered…
A pause.
Carlo: Have you ever considered suicide?
A long pause. Carlo takes a deep breath. He drinks some water. He suddenly looks oddly calm.
Andrea: Have you ever NOT considered suicide?
Marco: I don’t think I understand.
Carlo: It’s a simple question. Have you ever considered suicide?
Andrea: Yeah, sure I have, especially now that you won’t let me smoke.
Carlo: And you two?
Marco: No. I mean, yes. I think it happens to everyone, doesn’t it?
Stefano: I think it’s a yes from me, too. But I can’t think of a specific time.
Carlo: That doesn’t matter. It only matters that you did. Let’s get back to the earlier discussion. The one that made Marco so mad.
Marco: I wasn’t mad.
Carlo: You were, but don’t worry. It’s normal, it’s a normal reaction in a time of stress.
Marco: I’m sorry I got upset.
Stefano: Come on, it’s no big deal.
Carlo: That’s right, no big deal.
Stefano: You’ve got to keep moving on.
Andrea: Is there any beer?
Carlo: No. You see, the subjective nature of our attitudes toward life is fundamental. But society only defends those who want to live. Not those who want to die.
Stefano: Like the patient with ALS.
Carlo: Yes, but let’s forget about him. The ALS patient’s case would lead us down the path of healthcare and euthanasia. It was just an example. Or rather, a parameter. Life isn’t always beautiful.
Andrea: Oh really?
Carlo: And that leads us to the point.
Carlo pulls out a whole series of pictures from the drawer and slams them on the table. The others look at them.
Marco: Have you lost your mind? What the fuck is this shit?
Stefano: Oh my god…
Andrea: Listen, I’ll look at this stuff if I can get my coupons but you’ve got to explain what you want from us.
Carlo: What are those photos of?
Marco: Dead people.
Carlo: Be more specific.
Stefano: People who were murdered.
Carlo: Wrong. People who killed themselves.
Stefano: So?
Carlo: So, look at them. Gunshot wounds to the head, brains reduced to pulp, bodies mangled from jumping off a building, slit veins, gas stoves left on leading to the explosion of a building…
Andrea: We get it.
Carlo: All of this because suicide has not yet been accepted as a legitimate, deliberate choice. We all have the right to decide how, where and when we go. Don’t we?
Andrea, Marco and Stefano look bewildered, but they nod.
Carlo: The time has come to show you the product that we are here to conduct market research on.
Carlo pulls out a light blue box from the drawer.
Carlo: Here we go. The temporary name is “Quiet,” but that could change based on the results of the research. It is a kit for the perfect suicide. It contains: a pill of completely painless poison that simultaneously releases endorphins that give the user an intense feeling of wellbeing; a mask to cover their eyes and let them fully relax; a CD of New Age music; a crystal glass, a bottle of champagne and a Cuban cigar. Naturally they’re exploring some alternatives, such as including a pipe instead of a cigar, brandy instead of champagne, a version for people who don’t drink, etc, etc.
Marco: This is a joke, right?
Carlo: No, it’s not. Let’s keep going please. What do you think about when I say the word ‘quiet’?
A pause. Andrea, Carlo and Stefano look at each other, stunned.
Carlo: So? Go on.
Stefano: Peace.
Marco: Serenity.
Andrea: Quiet makes me think of quiet. That’s all.
Carlo: So the concept of ‘quiet’ gives a positive connotation to your concept of death.
Stefano: I think so.
Carlo: On a scale from not at all, a little bit, somewhat, a fair amount, very much and extremely, can you tell me how much the idea of suicide appeals to you?
Marco: Jesus Christ! Not at all!
Andrea: Listen, I’m just here for the gas coupons. I’ve had enough.
Carlo: Please, answer me.
Andrea: A fair amount. Alright? Let’s just get on with it.
Stefano: I don’t know… I have to think about it.
Carlo: It’s normal to be confused, when it comes to something like this.
Stefano: I mean, it’s something people do think about. Otherwise they wouldn’t be making such a cutting-edge product. But I don’t know how much I would want it.
Marco: Alright, I’ve heard enough, I’m leaving for real now. I can’t believe I stayed and listened to this bullshit until now.
Marco gets up, punching the table.
Marco: Consider yourselves lucky that I don’t sue you. The perfect suicide kit, you sons of bitches…
Carlo: Please, calm down. Sit.
Marco: Calm down? When you wake up in the morning don’t you feel like spitting in your own face?
Carlo: I don’t work for the company. I’m just conducting market research.
Marco: Yeah, on something horrible.
Carlo: That’s subjective…
Marco: Do you think people enjoy jumping off a bridge? Slitting their veins?
Carlo: That’s exactly why ‘Quiet’ was invented.
Marco: Oh yeah? Such philanthropists!
Carlo: Marco, please sit down.
Marco: I’m leaving.
Carlo: That would just be another way to avoid facing reality.
Marco: What the fuck do you mean?
A pause.
Marco: Listen, you don’t know me. Don’t you dare.
Carlo pulls out a sheet from his file. Reads from it.
Carlo: “Marco Conti, 28 years old. Nurse. Place of birth, irrelevant. Three years ago he was hospitalized for a personality disorder. Bipolar disorder leading to instances of excessive rage and frequent depressive episodes including two suicide attempts. Both using barbiturates.”
Stefano: You just said the product doesn’t interest you! You lied!
Marco: I’m going to the police.
Carlo: You can’t. You gave your permission.
Marco: What? I did no such thing.
Carlo: Yes you did. You signed up for a promotion run by a beer company five years ago. You gave our agency permission to track your information. Now sit down.
Andrea: You mean we’re here because at some point you managed to trick us into giving you permission to look through our shit and you’ve discovered that maybe someday we might just leave this place by our own hand?
Carlo: Yes. That’s exactly right.
Marco: I don’t remember…
Carlo: You should have read the privacy policy more closely.
Stefano: I don’t know anything about suicide or anything like that.
Carlo takes another sheet from his folder. Reads.
Carlo: “Stefano Nidda, 31 years old, programmer. Place of birth, irrelevant. No suicide attempts, but his profile suggests he might be interested in the product. Two years ago he was charged with public indecency for masturbating in the courtyard of his old primary school. He is likely to suffer from deep disorders linked to his sexual identity. The subject is likely to feel attraction toward male children of around ten years of age, an attraction that is not acted upon, or rather is only acted upon through masturbation to pedophiliac images.
Andrea: You jerk off to naked children? (Laughs) Poor bastard…
Stefano: Stop it…
Carlo: “Pent up sexual frustration may mask a repressed violent streak. Considering the subject’s natural predisposition to self-hatred due to the lack of significant social relationships, we are led to believe that…”
Andrea: That he’ll become violent toward himself and blow his brains out because he’s a fuckng loser. We all saw it, how he was kissing your ass.
Stefano: No. That’s not true.
Andrea: You were this close to bending over.
Marco: Listen, you shut up. You must be here for a reason too, isn’t that right? Don’t you dare judge others.
Carlo takes out another sheet. Reads.
Carlo: “Andrea Zucchi…”
Andrea: (Cutting him off) I’m an alcoholic. I’m broke. No job. My wife left me. Oh, I forgot, my son Roberto was run over by a car and died. He was four years old. My wife blamed me because he let go of my hand and ran across the street. You have those kids early on and then they die under a car. That’s how it goes. Amen. Yeah, my life is shit. Thank you for coming up with a way I can die comfortably. How much is it?
Carlo: I represent the agency that conducts the market research, not the client.
Andrea: I know. I was being sarcastic. Dickhead.
Carlo: Of course.
Andrea: Of course.
Carlo: Now we can talk openly.
Marco: I’m about to have an excessive rage episode.
Carlo: That would be rather unpleasant. Please don’t.
Stefano: I don’t know if I want to stay.
Carlo: Of course you do. You all do. For one simple reason. This interests you. It provides a solution. It’s a fascinating product that may solve an issue.
Andrea: I’ve never felt as much like living as I do right now. I’m finally having fun. Go on, let’s see where this goes.
Carlo: My job is to gather the data. There are three of you, and I have to understand if you are interested in the product. And if you’re not, why not.
Andrea: I am interested. I must have been out of it for a while. I didn’t think the world had come to this.
Carlo: What do you mean?
Andrea: I mean that I’m almost sober at this point.
Stefano: I want to leave, please.
Andrea: And give up your thirty Euros in gas coupons? Come on, don’t be silly.
Stefano: I’m not a bad person…
Andrea: Is this because of your jerking off at the school? Don’t worry, it was already evident that you were a pervert. We didn’t need this asshole to tell us.
Carlo: Nothing about this is personal. Don’t confuse things.
Andrea: It’s obvious that I’m a drunk, that he’s depressed. It’s clear at first sight.
Carlo: You’re all just possible clients of the company…
Andrea: Fuck you and your company.
Stefano: I want to leave…
Marco: Stop it. Can’t you see he’s unwell?
Andrea: We’re all unwell here.
Carlo: Please, let’s sit down and keep going.
Stefano: I haven’t hurt anybody…
Marco: Sure, you haven’t hurt anybody. You didn’t do anything.
Andrea: Give him some water.
Carlo: Listen, we can take a five minute break if you want. Then start again.
Stefano: I want to go home.
Carlo: You can’t.
Stefano: Who told you? Who told you?
Carlo: You signed a consent form. You gave us permission to look through your data and to contact you.
Stefano: That’s not true.
Carlo: All the documents are here. You can check if you want.
Marco: Of course we do.
Carlo: Please, why don’t we keep talking about the product rather than get bogged down in tedious legal questions?
Stefano: You didn’t tell my mother did you?
Carlo: No, the information is private.
Marco: So private that you blew our spot in front of the others.
Carlo: You signed an NDA when you got here, didn’t you? You should have read that more carefully too.
Andrea: All of this for thirty glorious Euros in gas coupons. (laughs)
Marco: Enough about the gas coupons!
The Secretary enters. She carries some coffee mugs.
Secretary: Sorry to interrupt, I figured you might like some hot coffee.
Andrea: Yes, I’ll take it. I need it.
Carlo: Thank you, Ms.
Marco: You think this is the time for that?
Secretary: Americano macchiato with two sugars. For Mr. Carlo, just how he likes it.
Carlo: Perfect.
Secretary: For you three I took the liberty of making three espressos and I brought regular sugar, cane sugar and sweetener. Cold milk on the side.
Andrea: Wonderful. I have a vicious headache, you can’t even imagine. This will help. And it’s free.
Andrea picks up a coffee and starts drinking. The other two don’t touch theirs.
Secretary: You don’t want any?
Marco: No, thank you.
Secretary: You?
Stefano: No. I don’t think I feel well…
Secretary: I’ll leave them here, in case you want them later.
Marco: Alright, alright…
Stefano: Please, send me home.
Secretary: Mr. Stefano Nidda, is that right? You’re looking a little stressed. Would you prefer some chamomile? I can make you some right now if you’d like.
Andrea: The coffee is excellent.
Secretary: Thank you, Mr. Zucchi. I have a special way of making it. It’s a secret though.
Andrea: Of course. We all have our secrets don’t we?
Silence. Marco takes his coffee and drinks. Stefano is still sweating bullets.
Secretary: Alright, I’ll leave you to it then. Dr. Marini, I believe the data gathering is proceeding well, isn’t it?
Carlo: Very well.
Secretary: I knew you wouldn’t let me down. Don’t forget that you’re still missing the most important data point, though.
Carlo: Just a few more minutes now.
Secretary: Splendid. I’ll be waiting outside to hand you your gas coupons once you’re done.
Andrea: Wouldn’t miss it.
Secretary: See you later, then.
Carlo: See you later, Ms.
Secretary: De Santi. Amelia De Santi. Amelia to you.
A pause. The two of them smile at each other. The Secretary exits.
Andrea: What a touching moment… Look, are you gonna drink that?
Stefano: No…
Andrea: Then I’ll have it, if you don’t mind.
Andrea takes Stefano’s coffee and drinks it.
Carlo: Alright, let’s keep going. Let’s start with Marco, as he has the most experience. What do you think makes the perfect suicide.
Marco: How would I know…
Carlo: Well, you tried it twice. You must have some idea.
Marco: I don’t. It’s not like you become an expert… anyway, I wouldn’t try it again for anything in the world. It was a moment in time that fortunately won’t ever happen again.
Andrea: Sure it won’t.
Marco: Look, I said I won’t do it again. The end,
Carlo: Andrea, please. Don’t create conflict.
Andrea: Can’t you see he’s your average guy who was just too loved as a child and now plays at being a suicidal depressive?
Marco: Bipolar disorder is a disease. It’s not a whim.
Carlo: I can confirm that.
Andrea: If you went through what I went through, you would have killed yourself for real.
Marco: Better than ending up like you at thirty years old. Look at the state of you.
Carlo: You really think so?
Marco: What?
Carlo: That it’s been to commit suicide than to end up like Andrea.
Marco: Of course.
Carlo: But just a few moments ago you said you wouldn’t try it again.
Marco: I am doing well.
Andrea: So am I.
Carlo: You both know that’s not the case.
Stefano: I never wanted to…
Marco: Alright, here’s what we do. Let’s put an end to this. Goodbye.
Carlo: Of course you can still pick up your gas coupons from Ms. De Santi. You too, Andrea. If you’d like to leave.
Andrea: Yeah, I think we’ve reached a dead end.
Carlo: Unless you’d like to test out the product. Here. Now.
Silence.
Marco: Alright. I’m leaving.
Carlo: It’s a sweet death. You just have to trust the product.
Andrea: The day I decide to kill myself I will do it in style. I definitely won’t do it in this shithole with you looking at me.
Carlo: Why not? We’re all adults, aren’t we? And this is what you all want. You know that.
Stefano: He’s right.
Carlo: You see? Stefano is being honest with himself. Perhaps the key to his life is right here in front of him. And perhaps so is the one to your life. To put an end to your suffering with a sense of well-being. To leave while in ecstasy. When it’s your choice.
Andrea: I’d rather blow myself up in the town square.
Carlo: No. You prefer the quiet. Just like Marco does.
Marco: I don’t know.
Carlo: Just like Stefano. Stefano, who doesn’t want to hurt anyone, especially not children, and who knows that there is a way to do that.
Stefano: To die.
Carlo: Quietly.
Stefano: Peacefully.
Carlo: All three of you are here for a reason. It’s up to you to understand that. And up to you to get there before the other two. There’s only one kit. And three of you.
A long silence. Marco, Andrea and Stefano look at each other. Study each other. Suddenly Stefano gets up and reaches for the suicide kit.
Marco: Stop!
Andrea and Marco try to stop Stefano. Carlo stands still, watching the scene unfold. He checks the time. He smiles. Stefano swallows the pill.
Andrea: Spit it out. Spit it out, you idiot!
Marco: He swallowed it. Christ, he swallowed it!
Andrea: What the fuck are you doing just standing there, call someone!
Carlo: It’s no use. He swallowed it.
Marco: Call an ambulance.
Marco takes out his phone and tries to make a call.
Marco: No service. There’s no fucking service.
Carlo: There’s no service in the whole building. It’s blocked so that employees don’t waste time on their cellphones.
Marco: Couldn’t you say that before?
Andrea: Son of a bitch.
Andrea is about to lunge at Carlo. Marco holds him back.
Marco: There’s no time. We have to get help. Hurry!
Andrea looks at Carlo with hatred. Carlo gives him a small smile.
Andrea: How long does it take?
Carlo: About ten minutes.
Andrea: This isn’t over.
Carlo: You know, everyone here was convinced you’d be the one to take the pill. But no. Well, it’s just a matter of time. You’ll just have to buy it at the supermarket.
Andrea: Bastard.
Marco: Hurry up, he’s going to die!
Andrea: Yeah.
Marco: Stefano, don’t move, OK? We’ll go get help.
Stefano: No… I don’t want to…
Marco: You stay here. Keep an eye on him.
Carlo: I’m not going anywhere.
Andrea and Marco exit. As soon as they leave the room, Carlo locks the door.
Carlo: Stefano, come here. Sit down.
Stefano: I want to die. I am disgusting… (Cries)
Carlo: I know, I know. That’s what I’m here for. Stretch out your legs. Here, put this mask on. I’ll take care of the rest.
Stefano makes himself comfortable. He stops crying. He puts on the eye mask.
Carlo: There you go, that’s right.
Carlo puts the New Age CD into the CD player. The music starts playing. Claudio opens the bottle of wine and pours some into the crystal glass. He hands it to Stefano.
Stefano: Thank you. (He takes a small sip.) It’s delicious.
Carlo lights the cigar and hands it to Stefano.
Carlo: Here. The cigar.
Stefano: No, thank you. I don’t smoke.
Carlo: You mind if I smoke it?
Stefano: Sure. Go ahead.
Carlo: Thank you.
Carlo sits comfortably, his legs up on the table. He smokes. Stefano starts to slowly lose consciousness.
Carlo: So here we are. How do you feel?
Stefano: Good.
Carlo: I’m glad. It means the product is working.
Stefano: Yes. I feel calm. Peaceful.
Carlo: Soon it will all be over.
Stefano: Yes… Over…
Carlo: You’ll finally be at peace.
Stefano: Peace…
Carlo: Quiet.
Stefano: Quiet.
Carlo: You like that name?
Stefano: Quiet is a nice name.
Carlo: Good, I’m glad you like it.
Stefano: I feel good…
Carlo: So you’re satisfied with our product.
Stefano: Yes…
Stefano is about to pass out. The glass of wine slips out from his hands and falls to the ground.
Stefano: It’s finally… Ending…
Carlo: There you go, Stefano. It’s what you wanted.
Stefano: I wanted it…
Carlo: Can I ask you one last question?
Stefano: Yes… last question…
Carlo: On a scale from not at all, a little bit, somewhat, a fair amount, very much and extremely, can you tell me how satisfied you are with the product?
Blackout.
THE END
[1] The original title of the play in Italian is Focus Group.
The Mercurian 